D34r f15h: Why are black people so loud?

April 16, 2009 at 12:01 pm (50c137y, D34r F15h) (, , , , )

Black People Say It Loud

Black People Say It Loud

Let’s be fair here: There are plenty of African-Americans who are not so loud, who are, in fact, pretty quiet. But I know what you mean. Black folks seem to speak at higher volumes than white folks whether they’re happy (hanging out with friends, conversing on public transportation, watching a movie in the theater) or angry (scolding their children or significant others or complete strangers). They hold intimate conversations in public spaces at embarrassing pitches, shouting things that white people would be ashamed to whisper in the company of strangers. Why is this?

Well, several factors apply, it seems to me. For most of them, you can Google “Why are black people so loud?” and find many helpful responses, from “Because they’re ignorant little picaninnies” to “Shut up, you fucking racist cracker.” Beyond that, here are my humble contributions to the debate:

First, the level of frustration is high for black mothers in particular. With so many absentee or no account black fathers, black mothers often feel as though they are alone in the difficult task of raising black children, who may or may not be more prone to bad behavior than white children. (I don’t think they are any worse than white kids, but the black mothers I hear yelling at them all the time might disagree, at least in private, if there is such a thing as “private” for black mothers.)

Secondly, black folks have been told to shut up for a long time, and at some point along the way, maybe with the advent of the Black Power movement in the mid-late ’60s, they became sick of it. Empowering messages transmitted through negro music such as blues, rhythm & blues, soul, funk, and rap encouraged them to make some noise. To do otherwise would be to capitulate to white culture and assume the mantles of “Uncle Tom” and “Aunt Jemima.” Ever since slavery, lots of black folks have carried chips on their shoulders. I don’t blame them. I mean, if I went back far enough, I could probably find slaves in my own ancestry, but for African-Americans, the brutal and repressive condition was much more recent and in the country in which they still live. That doesn’t excuse them from taking personal responsibility for their lives, but it’s something. They’re mad as hell about not being able to talk as loud as they wanted to back then, and so they are not going to take it anymore.

I hope my wisdom has enlightened you on this issue, dear reader. Next time you are annoyed with a loud black person, just tell them, “I am so glad you are no longer a slave, but could you assert your freedom a little more quietly or farther away from me, please?” And if you thought they were loud before …

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D34r F15h: Why are People in West Virginia So Ignorant?

May 15, 2008 at 11:56 pm (50c137y, D34r F15h, n3w5 & c0mm3n74ry, p0l171c5) (, , , , , )

Well, Reader, I assume you mean “Why are white southerners so ignorant?” You say West Virginia because the recent Democratic primary in that state and news coverage thereof have thankfully given you another opportunity to compare yourself favorably to an unofficially sanctioned stereotype. With your real question thus revealed, I’ll give you the short answer first:

It is human nature to be ignorant, as much as it is human nature to be curious and to learn. We all feel an urge to stay within our comfort zone, to stay with those who look, think, and/or act like us. To make this easier, we feel an urge to demonize to some degree those who look, think, and/or act differently. As this keeps us from knowledge, it keeps us in ignorance.

Absolutely, at least some of the white Democratic voters who backed Hilary Clinton are ignorant and chose their candidate out of ignorance. A friend forwarded me this Daily Kos post with a clip from Comedy Central’s Daily Show that includes interviews of some of the ignorant voters. One forthrightly admitted, “I’m sort of scared of the other race ’cause we have so much conflict with ‘em,” lumping Barack Obama in with the dark-skinned bogeymen she crosses the street to avoid and the violent black youth she sees every day on the news. Another objected that Obama is a Muslim—which is blatantly false—while a third said unreflectively, “I had enough of Hussein,” linking Obama’s middle name to the former dictator of Iraq. Both of these ignorant women believe that Obama has connections with our terrorist enemies.

Of course, these are not the only examples of ignorance in race or politics. Blacks voting with a jerk of their collective knee for whomever the Democratic candidate happens to be is ignorant, but one can’t safely point that out. Blacks accusing other blacks of “Uncle Tomism” because their beliefs, thought processes, fashion sense, or education/income level differs from mainstream black America—that’s certainly ignorant, but it’s off-limits.

Like the old, white West Virginians in the Daily Show clip, blacks can live down to their stereotypes too … but white folk are not supposed to talk about it. Sure, you can find blacks who are lazy, shiftless, violent, and eaters of watermelon, but the only acceptable way to acknowledge those characteristicsis to blame them on white people. Except for the watermelon eating, because no one is ashamed to admit that everyone enjoys watermelon.

I do understand that a shiftless white person is not perceived to reflect badly on his/her whole race, while a shiftless black person is perceived to confirm the stereotype and make everyone look bad. To solve this problem, you need only bring your secrets out in the open and connect honestly on honest issues.

The next time you see an aging, poorly educated, low-income, white West Virginian woman mouthing off about the “nigras,” don’t label her as one of those racist southerners and contemptuously write her off. Instead, approach her with a smile and say, “Hey, I’m racist too! I hate white people!”

The next time you see a young, poorly educated, low-income, black male wearing his draws down to his knees and glaring menacingly at passing white folk, don’t excuse him as a victim of society and hurry home to e-mail your Democratic congressperson. Instead, approach him with a smile and say, “Hey, I slavishly follow the fashions of my peer group too! And I also hate working, and have been known to steal small items from Wal-Mart as a protest against corporate greed!”

In this way, we can end these silly games and acknowledge the truth: everyone is ignorant, self-righteous, criminal, and responsible for his/her actions. Let’s not fight about it.

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